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Black Gate 4

Black Gate to Launch Sister Magazine

Rumors about our new venture have been spreading for weeks, and it's time that John and I finally came clean. Next month we'll be launching a call for submissions to our new, bi-monthly sister magazine, Spicy Troubadour.

John and I have been getting letters for years asking for more stories about bards, minstrels, and troubadours in adventurous situations and exotic positions, and we finally decided to bow to public demand. We didn't want to change the core makeup of the fiction within Black Gate, hence Spicy Troubadour.

Heading up the new venture will be Managing Editor John C. Hocking, author of Conan and the Emerald Lotus, recent recipient of the Harper's Pen award, and owner of the largest collection of troubadour music and antique, clashing-legged lederhosen in all of Michigan.

While the primary thrust of the magazine will be stories about medieval music makers, to broaden appeal, Spicy Troubadour will also print comic Viking stories, and urban fantasies featuring vampires with talking cats.

We look forward to reading your submissions! Further details will be posted as the launch date nears.

Comments

(Anonymous)

After I got done laughing, I realized something truly sad.

I would actually buy a subscription to this.

By the way, I just got the latest real BG, and boy howdy - kudos.

(Anonymous)

At long last a place to submit my file cabinet full of Yodeling Yarl the String Smasher tales! Fantastic!

Jason T

The Ballad of the Princess Bard

I've got this story about a princess who uses the power of music to heal the unicorns, thus showing the barbarian invaders the error of their ways....

Re: The Ballad of the Princess Bard

Sounds very redemptive. Needs to be spicy, though.

Re: The Ballad of the Princess Bard

Well, when the barbarian chief loses his brother due to a freak unicorn accident, she "nurtures" him back to emotional wholeness, heroically sacrificing her ability to ever ride said unicorns again.

Re: The Ballad of the Princess Bard

That sounds just right, then.
Is it OK to submit SF troubadour stories too? Seriously, I have the best one ever, but ever since the closure of "Cylon Sonnets" I've been in a bit of a bind where to send it. Looking forward to your positive response.
I'm sorry, but that's really not going to fit our profile.

Have you tried Rockin' Spockinalia?
They stopped responding to my abusive emails years ago. I doubt those idiots could find Provence on a map or tell apart "Il Dolce Stil Nuovo" from that crap at the court of Ferdinand II. You were my last hope :(
Well, I hate to leave you feeling down. If you can work in a space viking, we'd be willing to look at it.
The goofy part is, this sounds like a fun mag! I honestly wasn't sure if you were kidding until I got to the vampires and talking cats.
I was hoping it would be clear by the lederhosen collection remark.

Hocking and I have been joking for years about the grand old pulp magazine, Spicy Troubadour, which never existed. I wouldn't mind said magazine myself, so long as there was more in the mag about adventures and not so much about spicy adventures. And comic Vikings. There talking cats and vampires. Bard adventures, though, could be cool. Have you read the Bard books by Keith Taylor? Good stuff.
...you know, maybe the lederhosen collection isn't a dead giveaway. People collect all kinds of weird stuff...
In the geek world, even moreso! I wasn't at all thrown by that.
Oh boy! I am sending you my 350,000 word fantasy about singing unicorns. Only I can't afford the postage, so watch for it COD!
O silly Sartorias -- just FAX 'em your 350,000 magnum opus. It will be so much easier and less expensive for them and for you!

Love, c.
GREAT IDEA!
I'll also fax the 1000 GB data file of appendices, drawings, maps, and alphabets!
Excellent! They won't have to wait to see the entire spectacular package! Wooo!

Doncha lurve yur modern tech?

Love, c.
Yes--in fact, why not order up a 100k print run, and let Black Gate find itself in the best seller business before they knew they were going to print books. Everybody will thank me then. I will begin practicing my Hugo speech today.
And I -- I shall be Queen!*

I mean, I'll applaud your speech!

Love, C.

_______________

* Donald Sutherland, in the spoof, Start the Revolution Without Me (1970), playing one member of the two sets twins switched at birth in 18th C France, plotting with his faux twin to depose Louis the 16th in a dizzy conspiracy at a ball in Versailles. Perhaps my most favorite movie moment of all time!
I open my wrists in your general direction.
Please don't -- blood is so icky. I hate to find any kind of blood in the fiction I read (or on it) because I have extremely delicate sensibilities.
I shall revive you with smelling salts, cher Monsieur Jones, and then bleed on you again. Perhaps, when you come to, I shall award you with a chicken-skin fan, exquisitely painted in the latest fashion.

How about the story of the mermaid and the amorous troll?

It's a bit of a mouthful....
Finally! The perfect market for my original concept, Hildeguard von Bingen, Vampire Hunter. Vol 1: Bingen' You Pain (vampires, that is). It's a little lacking in the spicy, but I'm sure I could work in a scene where she eats a taco.

P.S. I'm so glad your submission guidelines don't waste time with any specific word cout limitition or require that storeis be finished at time of submission!